I’m gonna complain now. You may or may not have noticed that I have boobs; big boobs, big honking badonkadonks, giant love melons, funky chunky chesticals or tits as some may say.  Don’t say you have’t seen them, they’re right there being an obnoxious and eye-catching distraction at all times and, let me tell you, they are an absolute menace.

Despite how it may look, I spend a lot of time trying to find clothes that hide my cleavage. I know that’s probably quite hard to believe considering just how much of it you can see but it really is true. Obviously I can just wear a t-shirt or something and cover them up completely but that doesn’t make me feel pretty, I want pretty clothes! Not to mention that my oversized milk-bags protrude so far out from my chest that the t-shirt material hangs out over them and makes me look like a round beachball woman! I will see a beautiful dress for sale being modelled by a woman I assume has a similar shape to mine looking quite modest, laced up pretty boobies all secure and well behaved; then I will put the dress on and my evil, violent TITS will aggressively throw themselves all over the place, proudly projecting their cleavageness and constantly threatening to nuzzle a nipple free, and that is WITH A BRA ON!

I get genuinely annoyed because I’m constantly accused of showing them off in the social spaces where I’m genuinely trying really really hard to hide them as best I can. I’ve tried everything from oversized bras to literally taping them down but they are just too powerful. I’m cursed with HUGE MUMMY MILKERS. So now I have to just crop as much of them out as I think I can from photos without ruining the picture.

Look at this one for example, I wanted a nice wholesome photo of the butterfly that landed on my hand but my GIGA FUN SACKS are so unreasonably THERE! It’s like my mams are photobombing or something! See that bit of string on my dress? That’s supposedly for tightening up over the top of your boobs to keep them snug; not my titties though, no! Any tighter than how I have it and they just roll out like yoga-balls in a gym-bag! SO I have to crop the bottom of the image out into a far inferior composition where you can't even see my pretty dress in a VIEN attempt to hide them and people STILL comment on my UNREASONABLE CLEAVAGE AHHHH

They attack me when I run or dance! They get hot and uncomfortable! They call me horrible names when no-is around! and if the nipples get touched I feel crippling empathy for everyone in the universe AND if the shower water hits them I CRY! They’re my big, bouncy BULLIES!! CAPITALISATION!!!

Anyway, LIKE, FOLLOW AND SUBSCRIBE IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE OF MY BIG FAT TITS

Love you XOXO