Hey guys!

Today is the birthday of my first dog, Gabby, who was elevated to the rank of canine gods while she was still alive. Now, her immortal spirit watches over all people who are smart, kind, and give lots of table scraps to dogs.

Also, I just want to say how much I love this pink sweater. And sorry for the dog hair on my skirt. I bought this sweater in the kids’ section. I honestly don’t understand why everything in the adult section looks like rotten dick. I swear, 13-year-old girls who got into adult life a little too early and are desperately trying to dress fashionably end up looking like they’re 40. Age isn’t bad, but it’s fucking insane that I can almost never find clothes I like in the adult section—nothing in bright, fun colors, no cute animal or space prints, no glitter, none of that. And like, I get it, I live in a small country, so it’s even worse here. But seriously, who the hell wears that beige-gray corpse aesthetic on a daily basis?

I also love this jacket. It’s my brother’s old jacket, which he stopped wearing because his current wife “doesn’t wear stuff like that” and his personal style shifts according to whatever vagina he’s currently sticking his dick into. The jacket is big, super warm, and has tons of pockets for candy, a flashlight, a screwdriver, a wrench, plastic bags, keys, matches. It covers my wrists, my kidneys, and my delicate lady parts. Gorgeous jacket. I love its bright orange color. But my absolute favorite color is black.

I’m almost 27—do you think I look younger than my age? If not, get the fuck off my page, I’m the youngest and most beautiful person here. My secret to youth? I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t date or have random hookups, I don’t work, I take antidepressants, and I take supplements when needed. I’ve also been drinking a ton of water for years, I stay active, I try to keep learning new things, I study a lot, I follow new games and movies, and I try to go to bed early. Oh, and I do my makeup like this—I don’t fill in my brows, just mascara on my eyes, and my foundation is almost sheer.

Also, I lost my favorite contour palette. Devastating. Pretty sure I accidentally gave it away to some homeless people. I try to clear out any extra stuff from my house.

No idea why I just told you all this. Anyway, have a great day!