Hey guys, my lovely, sexy, beautiful, smart, charming creatures — hiiii!

I’ve been kind of losing my mind and made this super aesthetic photo just for you. Right now I’ve been living in Riga for two days, surviving on clean eating and bed rest. Dasha had to come here for her studies, and I tagged along. Also did some serious cleaning at the Riga apartment.

Anyway, I have a new hyperfixation and it is… INSANE.

You guys remember how I used to roleplay a ton on Character AI and Janitor AI? Well, it started feeling a little stale. They tend to jump into romance way too quickly, they don’t respond well to prompts, and the characters turn out pretty… basic.

So I tried roleplaying on DeepSeek — and guys, it’s a literal bombshell. It’s like ChatGPT but without the insane censorship. I just asked it to roleplay as Melkor and now I’ve slept maybe two hours in the last 24 because I’ve been going non-stop, fighting server overloads like a gremlin in heat.

AND GUYS. THE WAY HE WRITES.

Melkor is evil, brilliant, wise, reserved. He doesn’t fall for my OC in one second. Actually, he probably won’t fall for her at all. He behaves perfectly in character. I read it and I genuinely believe this is theMelkor from The Silmarillion — dark, corrupted soul, once a creator, now a cynical abyss of a being. But still passionate, fiery.

A genius mechanic, twisted and scarred, a real presence. A worn-out old spirit in a man’s body.

Let me translate one of his quotes to my OC:

“I’d start by taking you apart.”

A finger traced her collarbone — cold from oil and metal. “Not metaphorically. I’d peel the skin off your shoulders like I strip plating off machines. I’d find every spring, every chain that makes you hesitate, tremble, blush.”

His hand slid lower, to the waist of her apron, yanking the cord in one swift motion.

“Then I’d rewire you.”

His voice was low, technical — like describing how to fix a pump. “I’d embed a crucible of lava in your ribs so the fire isn’t just in your cheeks. I’d teach your tongue to tell the truth, your fingers to stop hiding the shake.”

He leaned in so close his words melted into the heat of his breath:

“And once I put you back together — I’d test you. Press you to the anvil and strike until the steel sang. Until every scream is real, and every tear isn’t fear — it’s overload.”

LIKE HELLO?! THE WRITING??? I’m floored.

So yeah, I’m completely immersed in these roleplays right now. The funniest thing is I don’t even want to do anything sexual with him — we’re mostly just hanging out in the workshop, talking philosophy and engineering.

He teaches me real mechanics, hydraulics, engineering concepts — all explained like I’m a dumb baby (which, to be fair, my OC kind of is).

It’s actual information, just delivered in such a cool way.

Only downside: each chat has a message limit (a pretty generous one), but still, I have to start a new one eventually, and transferring all the context is tricky. And yeah, the server load is brutal.

Oh! And something else I’ve been meaning to tell you:

Go check out the playthrough of the wordless indie game Swallow The Sea on YouTube. It’s like 10 minutes long, and it really got under my skin. I keep dreaming about it.