Well, well, my whores, did ya miss me???? Don’t bother answering—I already know you didn’t.

Just got back from Oslo yesterday. Flew there with my mom to see Ghost. No pics, though—phones were banned. And holy shit, you guys, it was insane. The production level was next-level: glittering costumes, insane backdrop visuals, mind-blowing set design—I couldn’t look away. There was Jesus-rocket, dancing ancient statues, a spider with some creepy pale dude’s face controlling a city… The whole vibe was epic and hype as hell. Even my mom, who doesn’t know a single song, was floored.

Funny thing—me, the biggest fan, just wore a skirt and a pink shirt. Meanwhile, my mom shows up in a corset with tits out, a gothic skirt, lace bolero, choker, and makeup like some unholy matron. She even bought a ton of merch. That’s how you commit to the experience!

Now, the concert was ruined by this sweaty, bald, walrus-mustached freak who kept thrashing around in front of me, blocking everyone’s view, dry-humping his girlfriend, and clearly being on something. I punched him in the ribs a few times, and he sorta chilled. It’s a shame you can’t just beat these people up. I’m tall, but there were literal kids who couldn’t see shit because of him. I hate people who act like obnoxious trash but just not enough to get kicked out. Bet he’d act all meek if there were actual real rock concert with tough guys around who’d knock his teeth out.

The crowd was weird this time—lots of unkempt, passive 30-somethings who didn’t even sing along, some looking straight-up zonked. So much beer, too. First time I’ve been genuinely disappointed by adults at a show. But the classic Ghost fans didn’t fail: acne, blue hair, BMI of 60. Or just tiny depressed kids. I love them unironically.

The venue, Oslo Spektrum, was

massive and stunning—great acoustics, kinda Colosseum vibes.

As for the city itself? Ugh. Disgustingly dirty. Cigarettes, trash, plastic bags everywhere—like the streets never get cleaned. And judging by how trashed the venue was after, it’s clearly a local mindset.

The people? Not cute. I counted three pretty girls. Saw a few handsome 50+ men. The rest…well, very close relative energy, if you know what I mean. This isn’t meant as an ironic insult — it’s genuinely the impression I got. There were a lot of people with, to put it mildly, unusual-looking faces. Lots of clearly unwell folks in filthy clothes (think: raincoats with busted sneakers, shuffling around). Also, a ton of coffee with milk colored men—and not the “doctors and engineers” kind 🤡🤡🤡These were grimy, lurking in alleys reeking of some liquids, catcalling and whistling. Sketchy as hell. Some even offered us substances right on the street.

The city itself feels… confusing. You come across some beautiful old buildings, but there are also many ordinary ones that I wouldn’t call stylish or harmonious within the cityscape. Of course, everything is spoiled by the shocking level of filth — I swear, I’ve never seen anything worse.

The city hall really made me laugh — it looks like some kind of mega-crematorium.

I really liked the Munch Museum — it’s a spacious, bright art space. I’ve never been particularly interested in Munch, so I was pleasantly surprised to discover that his academic drawing skills were outstanding. There are far too many “artists” nowadays passing off basic clumsiness and childish smudges as a unique style, without any real drawing skills to back it up.

The Paradox Museum was hilarious — my mom and I nearly died laughing there.

And I absolutely, absolutely loved the Natural History Museum — beautiful old buildings, big quiet halls. I adore taxidermy, I adore dinosaurs. It reminded me of the Zoological Museum in St. Petersburg — just as dusty, but rich in specimens. I’m always surprised that places like this aren’t packed with visitors.

All in all, the trip left a mostly positive impression.

But the most surprising thing? The dirt. I swear, I’ve never seen anything like that in any other Nordic country.